love and friendship

These hand-emroidered fabrics from Iviva Embroidery are a unique way to leave a message with someone. Two of my favorites (in the spirit of love and friendship)...

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“The main purpose of life is: To have a job in whose purpose you can believe; To have friends whose immediate purposes you can trust; To have some spot on earth to which you can return as home; To be at the same time a citizen of a larger world.” - James A. Michener

love, love, in all things love

While today's service was not revelational, I feel that in so many ways it served to remind me how important it is to find a community of believers. As I am on this search to discover my part in community with others, he spoke of our community's effort to become the church. "We don't go to church," he said, then added, "We are the church." The reminder was that we were always destined to be in constant communion with God, in fact that's the whole reason for our creation. In the beginning there existed a "commune" with God. Then sin separated. While the trinity has always existed, there were strict "IF" you do this, "THEN"... But when Jesus came to redeem us, he made the was for us to belong once again with God, son, and the Holy Spirit. No longer do we have to rely on "IF" we do, say, think, believe...but now we are able to be redeemed by His blood. There is no longer this concept of "me," but "we."

It's not a jorney of one person. There's a transformation of his power that happened somewhere along the way, that is still happening, and will continue to work in miraculous ways. I am willing to acknowledge this power working within me because I believe it brings Him joy. As for me, not only am I curious to see how He will use me, but it is the reason of my existence and I don't believe I'll ever be satisfied any other way. Not to mention I also want to bear love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

"For you have been called to live in freedom--not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love." Ephesians 5:13

in print...

I am, by nature, a listener, a watcher, an analyst. I try to pick up as much as I can in conversations, in reading, and by studying relationships and circumstances. I absorb these moments, roll them around my mind for a bit, theorize, test. Unfortunately, I feel like the past several years I have been a silent story-teller with many realizations now long forgotten. Sadly, I'm forced to admit that due to insecurities (and possibly internal contradictions), I seldom "let people in." To me, there's so many wonderful things I'd love to share--personal experiences, stories that I've heard, thoughts, understandings, those questions that I just can't seem to find answers to--and yet some reason I feel hindered in conversation with the vast majority of people I come in contact with. I can't really explain how this takes place, but there are few people who really manage to break through my protective wall. This is one of my greatest personal frustrations.

I don't know if I'm breaking down walls quite yet, but I'm ready to open a window. For me, writing is the beginning. I need a fresh perspective on what it means to openly and honestly relate to people. In study, I'm currently reading The Art of Friendship, The Art of Conversation, and Bird by Bird. I feel challanged, hopeful, and relieved. My greatest challenges are the fear that my thoughts actually exist in print and the committment to be consistent and dedicated to evolving literarily and socially. In the introduction of Bird by Bird, Anne Lamott writes that her father (a writer) instructed her to write as if she were practicing the piano (daily) and added, "...make a committment to finishing things." That said, I'm also hopeful because I really enjoy making connections. And I'm relieved because I truly do feel compelled to write and share.

This is where I begin my journey.

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"Lives based on having are less free than lives based either on doing or on being." - william james, 1898