my enneagram

I've had a difficult time this week brainstorming what to write about next following that last post. This could very well be an instance where I'm overthinking something very simple, but I've been trying to figure out that fine line between servanthood to others and bettering one's self. I'd like to be more involved with helping other people. I wish I had more money to give, more time to donate, and more of a voice for the voiceless. Yes, I've taken the occassional dog-sitting, pet-sitting, house-sitting, house-cleaning gig, but I mean something a little more intense that requires more effort on my part. It's been since last year's Nashville flood and the following flood relief efforts that I really felt like I could make use of my time to help other people in need (this, in large part, because of the generosity from work to let us help others during work hours). During that process, I felt like I was living a good example of what we should be doing day to day. Shifting towards the opposite end of the spectrum, I also feel it's important to strive for personal growth as well. Are the two really opposite ends or do I just struggle with feeling that way when I think about how to become a better person? Can the two be co-productive?

This week on Shauna's blog, she wrote about the nine different Enneagrams. As I read through the categories, I discovered that I am a type four (with type five variation). This explains quite a bit about my personality and tendencies!

You can check out more detailed information on her blog link above, or by clicking on the icon below:



On the Enneagram Institute's website there are recommendations for each type that encourage personal growth. In summary, the recommendations for a four inlclude the following:

Don't rely on emotions. Hmm...dramatizations are highly possible in my world. From an unnamed source, I have been noted to have two extremes: things are either really good or really bad. I think this is mostly true, with a huge unmentioning of the inbetween (which is probably the majority of the time) that is the laid back safe zone. I could stand to remain more often in the middle-high range :) Noted!

Commit to productivity. Suddenly I'm remembering Sean's birthday artwork from two years ago that has yet to be finished and the family recipe book that took two years to complete!! This one can definitely use some work! I have a huge list of unfinished art projects to start/complete and books to read!

Elicit positive experiences. I have done this lately with food and friendships, and I'm going to keep striving for more of these.

Practice healthy self-discipline. This is especially difficult because of the motivation factor behind the productivity reccommendation above. I have high hopes for running and getting my finances in check, but there are many, many lapses!

Live life, rather than just imagining it. This is funny...and true! I have quite an imagination and can entertain myself with exaggerated humorous situations and sometimes don't notice the isolation in doing so.

I found this very enlightening!! What enneagram are you??

Ephesians 1:11 (The Message)
11-12 It's in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.

This is true, whether we may be a one, four or nine! I can guarantee that not all twos are the same. We are each created differently with a unique purpose. I feel challenged to use who I am, what I know, and work on those things (mentioned above) that may need a bit of tweaking in order to fulfill my potential.

faith in context

This week, the discussion at church centered around Phillipians 1:3-11. It's beautiful scripture, but often taken out of context.

Thanksgiving and Prayer
3 I thank my God every time I remember you. 4 In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy 5 because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, 6 being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.

7 It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart and, whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God’s grace with me. 8 God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.

9 And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, 10 so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.

Verse 6 is often used to say that God will finish that which He started in each of us. There's more work to be done on our part for this to happen, but that part is often neglected. Pastor Rick brought up the three questions we should ask when trying to figure out the context of scripture-easily put, to who, on what, and why. In this instance, the letter was written to the church of Phillipi because of their partnership in the gospel. Why is Paul compelled to write to them? He wanted to make sure that the fruit of God's activity was evident in their lives. To apply this to us, we should be focused on whether there is evidence of fruit in out lives considering we are saved. We should be living with authenticity and blamelessness. Salvation should have two parts:

1. Faith: We should be trusting fully in god's power
2. Fruit: We should have evidence of God's presence in our lives

Galatians 5:22-23 (New Living Translation)
22 But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things!

the gift of presence

I arrive home from a day at the office or running errands, and I am greeted with a joyful greeting from my little Easton. His routine is always the same. He will step out of his crate, tail-wagging, lower to the ground and wait for a rub down. He’ll stretch. He’ll then rush excitedly to search for a toy to come show me. The most important thing in his life is companionship, and he always looks back to make sure I’m watching, following, or listening. If I’m not, he is sure to get my attention in the ways he knows best. A cracked blackberry, destroyed camera card, chewed pair of eyeglasses, and shredded pair of panties later, I could not be any more certain that my dog knows how to get to me. Afterall, his greatest moments are those spent with his mama.

Everyone wants to be loved and to feel a sense of belonging in some way or other.

For those of us who have friends and family near and dear to us in the holiday season, we cherish the moments together. For me, I am most excited about the thought of simply gathering together, possibly celebrating with food, and possibly celebrating with a bit too much food. This is the season that traditionally affects our waistlines, our wallets, and possibly even our sanity. There is a countdown clock at work that plagues me with the greatest of anxiety, and I’m even keeping it simple this year! Despite these challenges during the busyness of the season, it is with the greatest of anticipation that I still countdown towards the day we celebrate the birth of our Saviour. Pastor Rick of the People’s Church shared a message this past Sunday, reminding us of the ultimate gift, stating, “God has come down to man…for a reason…and promises to never leave us.” In this it is made clear that we are children of God to which His presence was made known among us. Even more extraordinary is that Jesus gave up divine privileges so that He could make a way for US. He became the connection. This was the fulfillment of God’s promise to us, and further proof that He would never leave us or forsake us, as is written in His Word.

So it is in this holiday season that we get to enjoy the presence of God.

God's artistry and the human connection

There is something about the act of creating that makes me feel connected with God. Perhaps it's because this is a talent I feel He's gifted me with, or perhaps it's because He Himself is the Creator of all things...or possibly both. I feel a sense of connection, whether it be when I'm cooking, painting, jornaling, or photographing my surroundings. Part of it has to do with using what God has already created to make something new and beautiful, but there's also a connection with becoming like God, who loved us enough to think to even create humanity and the connection to Him through Christ His son.

I've been considering making gift-giving this Christmas season about art, and it hasn't been difficult to find inspiration for what projects I'd like to do. That said, I started to panic when I realized that Christmas is only two short months away! With only two projects complete so far, I have a ways yet to go!

Bittersweet

The new book by Shauna Niequist titled Bittersweet just arrived in the mail! I’m very interested to delve into its pages, sharing her deepest thoughts on life’s changes, how we trust in God through it all, and how we have to learn amidst all that we go through. I echo these things in my own life, and I love sharing the similarity of these situations through Shauna’s beautiful writing.

As a twenty-something, there is so much pressure to establish your place in this world. It seems every decision carries weight. This past year has been a continuous trial for me personally, and I feel like I've often looked back rather than forward, but I'm beginning to understand that through every challenge I’ve gained valuable insight. Shauna states in her prologue: “Bitter is what makes us strong.” I feel that truth in my personal life. With constant financial struggles, the loss of feeling secure with the break-in and the resulting vulnerability, the lost friendships, and change in general, I’ve rekindled my faith in God. I've learned to trust in His provision, the security only He can provide, the constant companionship that He offers (and new friendships that he’s provided) and a knowledge that I am still within His control despite feeling that I’ve lost all control myself. I feel I’ve matured with the things I’ve gone through, looked at things differently, and have been taken outside myself to see that I’m surrounded by family and friends going through similar trials.

As I stop to take a break from looking back at all that’s happened, reminisce on all that I’ve learned, and look forward to what God has in store for me in the future, I realize there’s a lot happening in the now. Considering we are all at the stage where everything seems crucial, friends have cried out for prayer (in some form or fashion), and it's evident that i'm surrounded by people with aching needs: starting grad school; finishing grad school and wondering what lies in their future; friends and family and family members of friends struggling with illness, hospital visits, death; moving, both within the US and abroad; wanting children unable to conceive; job struggles; financial struggles; relationship struggles. The heartache is real. It serves to remind me daily that I’m not alone in my struggles. We all have things that we need to lay before God, asking for His help and guidance. Through this action, laying these things before God, we can be reminded constantly of God’s faithfulness. Shauna relates that she was once told by a friend, “that the central image of the Christian faith is death and rebirth.” These words ring off the pages into my life and my friends lives. We have to lose our need for control in the moments that seem to control us to truly understand God’s faithfulness. I know someone who recently reconnected with an very close, dear friend of several years and was told, “You’re not the same [person]”, to which she replied, “No, I’m not the same [person], nor do I wish to be that same [person].” It’s true. Through death, we find rebirth.

In Shauna’s prologue, she states this theme best in the following:

“This is what I’ve come to believe about change: it’s good, in the way that childbirth is good, and heartbreak is good, and failure is good. By that I mean that it’s incredibly painful, exponentially more so if you fight it, and also that it has the potential to open you up, to open life up, to deliver you right into the palm of God’s hand, which is where you wanted to be all along, except that you were too busy pushing and pulling your life into exactly what you thought it should be.

So this is the work I’m doing now, and the work I invite you into: when life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow.”

Thank you, Shauna; I couldn’t have stated it better myself! I look forward to sharing your world for a while; so as for now, I’m heading into the pages of your story with eager anticipation and iced latte in hand.

love, love, in all things love

While today's service was not revelational, I feel that in so many ways it served to remind me how important it is to find a community of believers. As I am on this search to discover my part in community with others, he spoke of our community's effort to become the church. "We don't go to church," he said, then added, "We are the church." The reminder was that we were always destined to be in constant communion with God, in fact that's the whole reason for our creation. In the beginning there existed a "commune" with God. Then sin separated. While the trinity has always existed, there were strict "IF" you do this, "THEN"... But when Jesus came to redeem us, he made the was for us to belong once again with God, son, and the Holy Spirit. No longer do we have to rely on "IF" we do, say, think, believe...but now we are able to be redeemed by His blood. There is no longer this concept of "me," but "we."

It's not a jorney of one person. There's a transformation of his power that happened somewhere along the way, that is still happening, and will continue to work in miraculous ways. I am willing to acknowledge this power working within me because I believe it brings Him joy. As for me, not only am I curious to see how He will use me, but it is the reason of my existence and I don't believe I'll ever be satisfied any other way. Not to mention I also want to bear love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

"For you have been called to live in freedom--not freedom to satisfy your sinful nature, but freedom to serve one another in love." Ephesians 5:13